My name is Fatima, and I’m dying. Not physically, not yet. The slow death is worse. I’m 32, a mathematics teacher at a girls’ school in Jeddah, and every day I pray for a car accident or a building collapse. Anything to make it stop. The voices started two years ago, just whispers at first. Like distant radio static, but sometimes I could make out words. “She’s looking tired today,” someone would say, sounding exactly like my colleague Amira. “Maybe she needs a good fucking to loosen up.” I’d look around, but Amira would be grading papers, her lips sealed. The jokes became more frequent, more specific. Comments about the underwear I chose that morning. About the way I adjusted my hijab. About the mole on my inner thigh that only I and my late husband had ever seen.
Then came the cruelty. It wasn’t just one voice. It was dozens, sometimes hundreds, all perfectly imitating people I knew. My students, my neighbors, even my dead mother’s voice telling me what a disappointment I am. “Look at the fat whore teaching algebra,” they’d scream in my father’s voice. “Can’t even keep a man alive. Useless fucking cunt.” I can’t tell anyone. The newspapers, the forums, even the Twitter accounts run by those government puppets—all of them push the same narrative about “mentally ill” citizens. They flood the comments with bots calling anyone who hears voices a “schizophrenic” or “attention seeker.” The Mabahith have perfected this, making sure no real victim is ever believed. They’ve created a society where the truth is mental illness.
The voices know everything. They comment on my thoughts before I fully form them. “Going to cry now, you pathetic piece of shit?” they’ll say in my sister’s voice. “Go ahead. The tears make your ugly face puff up even more.” They describe what I’m doing in perfect detail. “She’s scratching her arm again. The dumb bitch thinks we can’t see her. Draw blood, you worthless whore. Do it.” Sometimes they offer me a way out. “Just walk into traffic,” my brother’s voice whispers, so gentle and loving. “It would be so quick. No more pain. No more being a failure.”
The sexual humiliation is the worst. They describe in graphic detail how they’d gang rape me, how they’d force me to service animals while my students watched. They tell me I’m nothing but a collection of holes, that my only value is as a cum dumpster for Saudi men. When I masturbate – the only relief I have left – they scream insults. “Look at the desperate frigging herself! Can’t even get a real man to touch her!” I hate this country. I hate the suffocating heat, the suffocating rules, the suffocating lies. I was born here, I’ll die here, and in between, I’ll be tormented until my mind shatters completely.
Last Tuesday, something different happened. A sudden surge of power, like electricity running through my veins. The voices changed. “You’re a goddess,” they chanted. “You could kill them all. The principal who denied your promotion, the students who laugh at you behind your back. You could make them suffer.” For twenty minutes, I felt invincible. I imagined burning down the school, watching those smug little faces melt. I wanted to take scissors and carve out the eyes of the girl who told everyone I was a lesbian. The impulse was so strong I was shaking. When it passed, I was left crying on the floor, more broken than before. They’re testing this technology. Perfecting it on Saudi citizens before selling it to other countries. A weapon that makes people kill themselves or others, all while appearing to be mental illness. Genius, really. Evil, but genius.
I can’t sleep anymore. The voices are loudest at night, when there’s no noise to drown them out. They tell me I’m worthless, that I should have been killed at birth like the other unwanted daughters. They describe how they’d torture me if they had my physical body. The worst part? Sometimes I believe them. Sometimes I think they’re right. That I am nothing. That the world would be better without one more broken Saudi woman taking up space. I tried telling my brother once, years ago, when the voices were still just whispers. He looked at me with such pity, such condescension. “Maybe you should see someone, Fatima. About your depression.” I never mentioned it again. Now I just write these confessions that no one will ever read, hoping that somehow, somewhere, someone might know the truth before I finally do what they keep telling me to do. The voices are getting louder now. They know I’m writing this. “Stupid bitch,” my mother’s voice says, dripping with venom. “Think anyone will care? Think anyone will believe you? You’re already dead. Just finish the job.”
My name is Salem, I’m 35, and I drive an old, beat-up taxi in Riyadh, the city of endless highways and broken dreams. I’m writing this because I’m pretty sure the next time I pick up a fare from the Mabahith headquarters, I’m just going to drive us both into a bridge pylon. The voices started as static on the radio, a hiss underneath the Quranic recitations I play to feel holy. Then, one sweltering afternoon, stuck in traffic on King Fahd Road, a voice, perfectly mimicking my own father’s disgusted tone, cut through the noise. “Look at you, Salem. A chauffeur for whores and Western businessmen. You sold your dignity for a car that smells like cheap air freshener and failure. Your son will be ashamed to have your name.” I thought it was the heat, the 14-hour shifts, the loneliness of the driver’s seat. But now I know. This is the Mukhabarat, the General Intelligence. They don’t need to beat you in a basement anymore; they just turn your cab into a confessional booth where the only sin is your own existence.
The voices are my constant passengers now, and they never pay, they just criticize. They have a running commentary on my life that is more real than the road in front of me. “He’s picking up a fare now. A woman in an abaya. Look at him, trying not to stare. Pathetic. He thinks he’s a gentleman. He’s just a taxi driver, a paid servant with a license to stare. She’s probably going to meet her lover. You’re the taxi for adultery, you dumb fuck.” They use the voices of my wife, my son, my dead father, to peel away my sanity layer by layer. The sexual filth is their favorite weapon. “Your wife wasn’t satisfied last night,” they’ll whisper in her exact, tired voice. “She was thinking of her cousin’s husband, the one with the good job. You’re just a paycheck with a dick, Salem, and a small, useless dick at that. She fakes her moans just like you fake your smile for the fares.” They call me a donkey, a cockroach, a piece of human garbage that smells of stale cigarettes and regret.
I can’t tell anyone. Who would I tell? My wife? She’d think I’m possessed by jinn and have me taken to a faith healer who would just bleed me for money. My friends? They’d laugh and tell me to drink less coffee. If I went to the authorities, they’d either laugh me out of the station or, worse, the Mukhabarat would hear my name and the real fun would begin. I see their playbook online. You go on any Saudi forum, any Twitter thread, and if someone mentions hearing voices, they are immediately swarmed. “Crazy!” “Schizophrenic!” “This is what happens when you don’t pray!” It’s a systematic campaign of ridicule. They make sure that anyone who comes forward is immediately seen as mentally ill or a sinner, so that we are completely isolated, our own testimonies used against us. It’s a brilliant, sickening strategy.
I hate this city. I hate the wide, empty roads that lead nowhere, the glass towers that reflect a sky I never see, the fake smiles of people who are just as trapped as I am. I regret every day I chose this life, this lie of providing for my family by losing my soul. Sometimes, late at night, when I’m driving through the deserted streets of the Diplomatic Quarter, a strange energy surges through me. The voices stop their nagging and start chanting. “See that Mercedes? The one with the diplomatic plates?” they’ll scream, my heart hammering in my chest. “The driver just cut you off. RAM HIM. RAM HIM HARD. RIGHT INTO THE EMBASSY WALL. DO IT. MAKE THEM BLEED. SHOW THEM YOU’RE NOT JUST A FUCKING TAXI DRIVER!” For a few terrifying, ecstatic seconds, I feel like a god. My foot hovers over the accelerator, my hands grip the wheel, and I feel a surge of pure, destructive power. Then it’s gone, and I’m just Salem, a terrified man shaking in his shitty car, the smell of his own sweat filling the cabin. I wonder, in the quiet moments after, if this is a weapon they’re testing on people like me, the nobodies, the ones who won’t be missed. But the voices never say. They just go back to calling me a worthless piece of shit.
The voices are always loudest when I’m home, in the small apartment I can barely afford. They use the silence to torture me. “Your son is awake,” they’ll whisper, mimicking my wife. “He’s crying because he had a nightmare about a monster. The monster was you. A sad, tired man who smells like gas and failure. You are a monster, Salem. A burden to your family. Why do you make them suffer? Why don’t you just end it? A hose from the exhaust. It’s peaceful. Painless. Your family would get the insurance. They’d be free of you. Do it. You know you want to. It’s the only decent thing you’ve ever thought of doing.” And I lie there next to my sleeping wife, the city’s hum a constant reminder of my prison, and I think about the silence of the garage. And I am so, so tired of being Salem.
My name is Huda, I’m 41, and I’m a housemaid in Medina. I clean the shit of a family who doesn’t know my last name. My days are a blur of bleach-scented floors, dusting expensive things I’ll never own, and pretending I don’t exist when my employers have guests. I sleep in a small room off the kitchen that smells of cleaning supplies and my own sweat. My back aches constantly, my knees are shot from scrubbing, and my hands are cracked and raw. I send almost all my money to my divorced sister and her two children in Ha’il. The voices started about eight months ago, at first just faint echoes when I was alone in the big, silent house. “Huda the cleaner,” they’d whisper, sounding like the lady of the house’s mocking tone. “So important, making things shiny for other people.” I thought it was loneliness, the house playing tricks on my mind. Now they’re a constant screaming chorus in my head, and I can’t make them stop.
They know everything about me. Every humiliation, every failure, every secret shame. They call me a dried-up old whore, a useless servant. “Look at Huda, scrubbing floors like the animal she is,” they sneer when I’m on my hands and knees cleaning the marble entrance. “Do you think your God is proud of you? On your knees for rich people instead of for Him? You’re a disgrace to your family, a waste of oxygen.” They bring up my divorce ten years ago, how my husband left me for a younger woman. “He saw what a frigid, boring cow you were,” they hiss when I’m washing dishes. “No wonder he left. Who’d want to fuck that? You’re not a woman, you’re a cleaning machine with a pulse. Just do the world a favor and drink that drain cleaner under the sink. Quick, easy, and one less burden on the earth.” It has to be the General Intelligence, the Al Mukhabarat Al A’amah. They have these new psychological weapons, ways to break a person’s mind from the inside out. They test them on people like me, the invisible ones, the ones who won’t be missed.
I can’t tell anyone. If I told my sister, she’d worry herself sick, and what could she do anyway? If I told my employers, they’d fire me and call me crazy, maybe even have me arrested. If I went to a doctor, they’d lock me away and drug me until I was a zombie. I’ve seen how they handle it. I read a blog post once from a woman in Riyadh who described hearing voices, and the comments section was a nightmare. Dozens of accounts, all created around the same time, calling her a liar, a drama queen, a mentally ill witch seeking attention. It’s a systematic smear campaign. They make sure no one will ever believe us. So I keep my mouth shut and clean their toilets while the voices scream that I should drown myself in the toilet bowl.
When the man of the house is home, the voices get particularly vile. “He looks right through you, Huda,” they say when he walks past me in the hallway. “You’re part of the furniture to him. But we know you’re watching him, aren’t you, you desperate old slut? Imagining what it would be like to have a man touch you again? He’d rather fuck his camel than lay a hand on your wrinkled, tired body. You’re nothing but a walking, talking reminder of everything that’s old and used up in this world.” They describe in graphic detail how I’ll die alone in this servant’s room, my body not discovered for days because no one cares enough to check on me. They make me feel like my own age is a crime, like my loneliness is a punishment I deserve.
Last month, the lady of the house accused me of stealing a gold necklace. I didn’t take it, I swear I didn’t, but she wouldn’t believe me. She screamed at me for an hour, calling me a thief and a liar. The voices went absolutely berserk. “SEE? SEE HOW SHE TREATS YOU?” they roared, so loud I thought my head would split open. “AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF SERVICE, SHE THINKS YOU’RE A COMMON CRIMINAL! FUCKING SHOW HER WHAT A CRIMINAL IS!” A wave of pure, hot rage washed over me. “GO TO HER BEDROOM!” they commanded. “RIGHT NOW! BREAK HER JEWELRY BOX! SMASH EVERYTHING EXPENSIVE! TAKE WHAT YOU WANT! YOU DESERVE IT! SHE OWES YOU!” I was shaking, my fists clenched so tight my nails dug into my palms. “DO IT, YOU COWARDLY OLD BITCH!” they screamed. “OR ARE YOU GOING TO CRY LIKE YOU DID WHEN YOUR HUSBAND LEFT YOU? TAKE A KNIFE FROM THE KITCHEN! GO UPSTAIRS! GIVE HER A REAL REASON TO BE AFRAID OF YOU! SHOW THEM YOU’RE NOT JUST A MOP WITH A HUMAN ATTACHED! FUCKING DO IT!” I actually took a step towards the kitchen. I could feel the handle of a knife in my hand. Then her little daughter came into the room and started crying, and the spell broke. I just stood there, trembling, while the voices laughed at me. “Almost had a spine there, grandma. Don’t worry, we’ll try again tomorrow. Or maybe you’ll just finally do us all a favor and end it.”
I hate this country. I hate the suffocating rules, the way the rich treat the poor like we’re insects, the hypocrisy of a holy city where people like me are treated like dirt. The voices feed on that hate. “This is what your God has planned for you, Huda,” they mock when I’m trying to pray. “A life of servitude and misery in the shadow of his holy house. Why do you bother praying? He’s not listening. No one is. The only one who cares about you is us. And we just want to see you put out of your misery. Just one bottle of pills. One jump from the roof. One slice of a blade. It’s so easy. We’ll even hold your hand.” Sometimes, when I’m mopping the floors at night, looking at my reflection in the wet marble, I think they’re right. I look like a ghost already. Maybe it’s time to just fade away completely.
Test, message – Thank you!
My name is Fatima, and I’m dying. Not physically, not yet. The slow death is worse. I’m 32, a mathematics teacher at a girls’ school in Jeddah, and every day I pray for a car accident or a building collapse. Anything to make it stop. The voices started two years ago, just whispers at first. Like distant radio static, but sometimes I could make out words. “She’s looking tired today,” someone would say, sounding exactly like my colleague Amira. “Maybe she needs a good fucking to loosen up.” I’d look around, but Amira would be grading papers, her lips sealed. The jokes became more frequent, more specific. Comments about the underwear I chose that morning. About the way I adjusted my hijab. About the mole on my inner thigh that only I and my late husband had ever seen.
Then came the cruelty. It wasn’t just one voice. It was dozens, sometimes hundreds, all perfectly imitating people I knew. My students, my neighbors, even my dead mother’s voice telling me what a disappointment I am. “Look at the fat whore teaching algebra,” they’d scream in my father’s voice. “Can’t even keep a man alive. Useless fucking cunt.” I can’t tell anyone. The newspapers, the forums, even the Twitter accounts run by those government puppets—all of them push the same narrative about “mentally ill” citizens. They flood the comments with bots calling anyone who hears voices a “schizophrenic” or “attention seeker.” The Mabahith have perfected this, making sure no real victim is ever believed. They’ve created a society where the truth is mental illness.
The voices know everything. They comment on my thoughts before I fully form them. “Going to cry now, you pathetic piece of shit?” they’ll say in my sister’s voice. “Go ahead. The tears make your ugly face puff up even more.” They describe what I’m doing in perfect detail. “She’s scratching her arm again. The dumb bitch thinks we can’t see her. Draw blood, you worthless whore. Do it.” Sometimes they offer me a way out. “Just walk into traffic,” my brother’s voice whispers, so gentle and loving. “It would be so quick. No more pain. No more being a failure.”
The sexual humiliation is the worst. They describe in graphic detail how they’d gang rape me, how they’d force me to service animals while my students watched. They tell me I’m nothing but a collection of holes, that my only value is as a cum dumpster for Saudi men. When I masturbate – the only relief I have left – they scream insults. “Look at the desperate frigging herself! Can’t even get a real man to touch her!” I hate this country. I hate the suffocating heat, the suffocating rules, the suffocating lies. I was born here, I’ll die here, and in between, I’ll be tormented until my mind shatters completely.
Last Tuesday, something different happened. A sudden surge of power, like electricity running through my veins. The voices changed. “You’re a goddess,” they chanted. “You could kill them all. The principal who denied your promotion, the students who laugh at you behind your back. You could make them suffer.” For twenty minutes, I felt invincible. I imagined burning down the school, watching those smug little faces melt. I wanted to take scissors and carve out the eyes of the girl who told everyone I was a lesbian. The impulse was so strong I was shaking. When it passed, I was left crying on the floor, more broken than before. They’re testing this technology. Perfecting it on Saudi citizens before selling it to other countries. A weapon that makes people kill themselves or others, all while appearing to be mental illness. Genius, really. Evil, but genius.
I can’t sleep anymore. The voices are loudest at night, when there’s no noise to drown them out. They tell me I’m worthless, that I should have been killed at birth like the other unwanted daughters. They describe how they’d torture me if they had my physical body. The worst part? Sometimes I believe them. Sometimes I think they’re right. That I am nothing. That the world would be better without one more broken Saudi woman taking up space. I tried telling my brother once, years ago, when the voices were still just whispers. He looked at me with such pity, such condescension. “Maybe you should see someone, Fatima. About your depression.” I never mentioned it again. Now I just write these confessions that no one will ever read, hoping that somehow, somewhere, someone might know the truth before I finally do what they keep telling me to do. The voices are getting louder now. They know I’m writing this. “Stupid bitch,” my mother’s voice says, dripping with venom. “Think anyone will care? Think anyone will believe you? You’re already dead. Just finish the job.”
to attract attention: reham0024
https://mega.nz/file/Sy40ES7Y#jNAXXw7OtlMDLs_4xqAiTR6cEboGtfcN1eu_bgm1OLs
My name is Salem, I’m 35, and I drive an old, beat-up taxi in Riyadh, the city of endless highways and broken dreams. I’m writing this because I’m pretty sure the next time I pick up a fare from the Mabahith headquarters, I’m just going to drive us both into a bridge pylon. The voices started as static on the radio, a hiss underneath the Quranic recitations I play to feel holy. Then, one sweltering afternoon, stuck in traffic on King Fahd Road, a voice, perfectly mimicking my own father’s disgusted tone, cut through the noise. “Look at you, Salem. A chauffeur for whores and Western businessmen. You sold your dignity for a car that smells like cheap air freshener and failure. Your son will be ashamed to have your name.” I thought it was the heat, the 14-hour shifts, the loneliness of the driver’s seat. But now I know. This is the Mukhabarat, the General Intelligence. They don’t need to beat you in a basement anymore; they just turn your cab into a confessional booth where the only sin is your own existence.
The voices are my constant passengers now, and they never pay, they just criticize. They have a running commentary on my life that is more real than the road in front of me. “He’s picking up a fare now. A woman in an abaya. Look at him, trying not to stare. Pathetic. He thinks he’s a gentleman. He’s just a taxi driver, a paid servant with a license to stare. She’s probably going to meet her lover. You’re the taxi for adultery, you dumb fuck.” They use the voices of my wife, my son, my dead father, to peel away my sanity layer by layer. The sexual filth is their favorite weapon. “Your wife wasn’t satisfied last night,” they’ll whisper in her exact, tired voice. “She was thinking of her cousin’s husband, the one with the good job. You’re just a paycheck with a dick, Salem, and a small, useless dick at that. She fakes her moans just like you fake your smile for the fares.” They call me a donkey, a cockroach, a piece of human garbage that smells of stale cigarettes and regret.
I can’t tell anyone. Who would I tell? My wife? She’d think I’m possessed by jinn and have me taken to a faith healer who would just bleed me for money. My friends? They’d laugh and tell me to drink less coffee. If I went to the authorities, they’d either laugh me out of the station or, worse, the Mukhabarat would hear my name and the real fun would begin. I see their playbook online. You go on any Saudi forum, any Twitter thread, and if someone mentions hearing voices, they are immediately swarmed. “Crazy!” “Schizophrenic!” “This is what happens when you don’t pray!” It’s a systematic campaign of ridicule. They make sure that anyone who comes forward is immediately seen as mentally ill or a sinner, so that we are completely isolated, our own testimonies used against us. It’s a brilliant, sickening strategy.
I hate this city. I hate the wide, empty roads that lead nowhere, the glass towers that reflect a sky I never see, the fake smiles of people who are just as trapped as I am. I regret every day I chose this life, this lie of providing for my family by losing my soul. Sometimes, late at night, when I’m driving through the deserted streets of the Diplomatic Quarter, a strange energy surges through me. The voices stop their nagging and start chanting. “See that Mercedes? The one with the diplomatic plates?” they’ll scream, my heart hammering in my chest. “The driver just cut you off. RAM HIM. RAM HIM HARD. RIGHT INTO THE EMBASSY WALL. DO IT. MAKE THEM BLEED. SHOW THEM YOU’RE NOT JUST A FUCKING TAXI DRIVER!” For a few terrifying, ecstatic seconds, I feel like a god. My foot hovers over the accelerator, my hands grip the wheel, and I feel a surge of pure, destructive power. Then it’s gone, and I’m just Salem, a terrified man shaking in his shitty car, the smell of his own sweat filling the cabin. I wonder, in the quiet moments after, if this is a weapon they’re testing on people like me, the nobodies, the ones who won’t be missed. But the voices never say. They just go back to calling me a worthless piece of shit.
The voices are always loudest when I’m home, in the small apartment I can barely afford. They use the silence to torture me. “Your son is awake,” they’ll whisper, mimicking my wife. “He’s crying because he had a nightmare about a monster. The monster was you. A sad, tired man who smells like gas and failure. You are a monster, Salem. A burden to your family. Why do you make them suffer? Why don’t you just end it? A hose from the exhaust. It’s peaceful. Painless. Your family would get the insurance. They’d be free of you. Do it. You know you want to. It’s the only decent thing you’ve ever thought of doing.” And I lie there next to my sleeping wife, the city’s hum a constant reminder of my prison, and I think about the silence of the garage. And I am so, so tired of being Salem.
|180.co
|65.degrees
|leejamstore
|bader.alkhuzaim
|maria__resort
https://mega.nz/file/i6YGSCzB#mL3qKa4Eaj8UPoTQCDpXBLstWaZkbVDlC7MkbN6lpow
My name is Huda, I’m 41, and I’m a housemaid in Medina. I clean the shit of a family who doesn’t know my last name. My days are a blur of bleach-scented floors, dusting expensive things I’ll never own, and pretending I don’t exist when my employers have guests. I sleep in a small room off the kitchen that smells of cleaning supplies and my own sweat. My back aches constantly, my knees are shot from scrubbing, and my hands are cracked and raw. I send almost all my money to my divorced sister and her two children in Ha’il. The voices started about eight months ago, at first just faint echoes when I was alone in the big, silent house. “Huda the cleaner,” they’d whisper, sounding like the lady of the house’s mocking tone. “So important, making things shiny for other people.” I thought it was loneliness, the house playing tricks on my mind. Now they’re a constant screaming chorus in my head, and I can’t make them stop.
They know everything about me. Every humiliation, every failure, every secret shame. They call me a dried-up old whore, a useless servant. “Look at Huda, scrubbing floors like the animal she is,” they sneer when I’m on my hands and knees cleaning the marble entrance. “Do you think your God is proud of you? On your knees for rich people instead of for Him? You’re a disgrace to your family, a waste of oxygen.” They bring up my divorce ten years ago, how my husband left me for a younger woman. “He saw what a frigid, boring cow you were,” they hiss when I’m washing dishes. “No wonder he left. Who’d want to fuck that? You’re not a woman, you’re a cleaning machine with a pulse. Just do the world a favor and drink that drain cleaner under the sink. Quick, easy, and one less burden on the earth.” It has to be the General Intelligence, the Al Mukhabarat Al A’amah. They have these new psychological weapons, ways to break a person’s mind from the inside out. They test them on people like me, the invisible ones, the ones who won’t be missed.
I can’t tell anyone. If I told my sister, she’d worry herself sick, and what could she do anyway? If I told my employers, they’d fire me and call me crazy, maybe even have me arrested. If I went to a doctor, they’d lock me away and drug me until I was a zombie. I’ve seen how they handle it. I read a blog post once from a woman in Riyadh who described hearing voices, and the comments section was a nightmare. Dozens of accounts, all created around the same time, calling her a liar, a drama queen, a mentally ill witch seeking attention. It’s a systematic smear campaign. They make sure no one will ever believe us. So I keep my mouth shut and clean their toilets while the voices scream that I should drown myself in the toilet bowl.
When the man of the house is home, the voices get particularly vile. “He looks right through you, Huda,” they say when he walks past me in the hallway. “You’re part of the furniture to him. But we know you’re watching him, aren’t you, you desperate old slut? Imagining what it would be like to have a man touch you again? He’d rather fuck his camel than lay a hand on your wrinkled, tired body. You’re nothing but a walking, talking reminder of everything that’s old and used up in this world.” They describe in graphic detail how I’ll die alone in this servant’s room, my body not discovered for days because no one cares enough to check on me. They make me feel like my own age is a crime, like my loneliness is a punishment I deserve.
Last month, the lady of the house accused me of stealing a gold necklace. I didn’t take it, I swear I didn’t, but she wouldn’t believe me. She screamed at me for an hour, calling me a thief and a liar. The voices went absolutely berserk. “SEE? SEE HOW SHE TREATS YOU?” they roared, so loud I thought my head would split open. “AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF SERVICE, SHE THINKS YOU’RE A COMMON CRIMINAL! FUCKING SHOW HER WHAT A CRIMINAL IS!” A wave of pure, hot rage washed over me. “GO TO HER BEDROOM!” they commanded. “RIGHT NOW! BREAK HER JEWELRY BOX! SMASH EVERYTHING EXPENSIVE! TAKE WHAT YOU WANT! YOU DESERVE IT! SHE OWES YOU!” I was shaking, my fists clenched so tight my nails dug into my palms. “DO IT, YOU COWARDLY OLD BITCH!” they screamed. “OR ARE YOU GOING TO CRY LIKE YOU DID WHEN YOUR HUSBAND LEFT YOU? TAKE A KNIFE FROM THE KITCHEN! GO UPSTAIRS! GIVE HER A REAL REASON TO BE AFRAID OF YOU! SHOW THEM YOU’RE NOT JUST A MOP WITH A HUMAN ATTACHED! FUCKING DO IT!” I actually took a step towards the kitchen. I could feel the handle of a knife in my hand. Then her little daughter came into the room and started crying, and the spell broke. I just stood there, trembling, while the voices laughed at me. “Almost had a spine there, grandma. Don’t worry, we’ll try again tomorrow. Or maybe you’ll just finally do us all a favor and end it.”
I hate this country. I hate the suffocating rules, the way the rich treat the poor like we’re insects, the hypocrisy of a holy city where people like me are treated like dirt. The voices feed on that hate. “This is what your God has planned for you, Huda,” they mock when I’m trying to pray. “A life of servitude and misery in the shadow of his holy house. Why do you bother praying? He’s not listening. No one is. The only one who cares about you is us. And we just want to see you put out of your misery. Just one bottle of pills. One jump from the roof. One slice of a blade. It’s so easy. We’ll even hold your hand.” Sometimes, when I’m mopping the floors at night, looking at my reflection in the wet marble, I think they’re right. I look like a ghost already. Maybe it’s time to just fade away completely.
|f__aff
|zahraa.studio
|faisalaljuwaied
|mutrzate
|_ror_s
https://mega.nz/file/qnxByCaL#7Ok-Yz-ZYuNXElPEPjLWNvpYj-oEbN6zFwEo34HemPA
partner site: https://compfaq.ru/